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politics

The Power of Bone Stupid
(Also published at Thoughtcrimes.org)

Tell me, my fellow Americans, when we speak of World War I, is the renaming of sauerkraut “Liberty Cabbage” cited as one of our finer hours? How about the harassment of German Americans? When we talk about World War II, are “patriotic” American shopkeepers who put up signs like “No Jap Trade for the Duration” or wags who bought amusing “Jap Hunting Licenses” remembered fondly by most of us? Are these things ever cited by reputable historians as factors that ensured our victory in these wars?

Of course not.

Time and time again over the decades, there’s been a segment of our population who imagine that wars are won by harassing their fellow citizens, instituting loyalty oaths, insulting people with German/Japanese/Arabic names, renaming foods so that hamburgers become “Liberty steak,” and French Fries, “Freedom Fries,” demanding that others refrain from owning dachshunds/listening to Madame Butterfly/wearing anything that looks like it might be a kaffiyeh. Time and again, after a few years have passed, these manifestations of “patriotism” are remembered with emotions ranging from embarrassment to profound shame.

And yet, we keep doing them. It’s as if some incurably dumb part of humanity is incapable of learning from history. “Sure,” some of us think,” it was stupid and wrong back in 1917 to drive that hardware store out of business because the owner’s name was Gerstein and he had been spotted wearing lederhosen at a picnic the summer before. But this time it makes sense…”

Its latest manifestation took place last week, when a dastardly attempt to brainwash America through accessorizing was foiled by the wide-awake folks at Little Green Footballs and other right wing websites. It seems that Rachael Ray wore a black and white fringed scarf in an ad for Dunkin’ Donuts that looked kind of like a kaffiyeh. And we all know what that means, right? As a poster on Exurbanleague so sagely and civilly put it:

“You see Rachael donning the Palestinian kaffiyeh above, while shilling Homer Simpson's favorite toric delicacies. I must admit that the scarf pairs nicely with the Swastika earrings.

I'll take one glazed, a large coffee, and death to the Jews... to go!”

Now, quite aside from the fact that a close look at the ad in question reveals Ray to be wearing a fringed black and white paisley scarf – not a kaffiyeh – there’s the offensiveness of assuming that this widely used and practical item of middle-eastern clothing is the equivalent to a Nazi lapel pin. Countless people wear kaffiyehs who are not genocidal anti-Semites and have no connection whatsoever with terrorism -- except in the minds of those who equate wearing a kaffiyeh with being Palestinian/Arab and being Palestinian/Arab with being a terrorist.

But the sheer power of bone stupid has once again revealed itself. Dunkin’ Donuts has withdrawn the ad and now Little Green Footballs and Exurbanleague are exchanging high fives.

It’s tempting to dismiss this kind of thing as a joke – until you consider that it’s really all about bullying people into compliance with the bully’s narrowly defined notion of “patriotism.” A passage in Exurbanleague’s post on the subject is especially revealing: “The last thing we need is for the kaffiyeh to become the next version of the ubiquitous Che T-shirts.”

We all know the dire results of the promiscuous wearing of Che’s image, right? Who can forget back in the seventies, all those desperate suburbanites battling the armed cadres of roaming reds? Exhausted Republican householders could only pause occasionally behind the barricades they’d constructed to shake their heads with regret and think, “If only I’d done something about that college boy who was spotted wearing a Che t-shirt in the park last year…”

It’s not about protecting western civilization. It’s about intimidation, about conformity. It’s about these cowards having the power to smear and punish those of us who dare to wear something they don’t like because it looks like something those durned AY-rabs wear. Don’t imagine for one instant that this is not going to result in individuals who wear kaffiyehs getting hassled or insulted, equated with Nazis. That’s what it’s all about, and the people who spearheaded this campaign know it.

Thirty or forty years from now, when the attacks on the Rachael Ray Dunkin Donuts ad are being cited as another example of stupid bigotry akin to kicking the Grubers’ pet dachshund to death during WWI, many of those who participated will, if they’re still around, be damned grateful they were doing it using pseudonyms.

Or maybe they’ll be too busy protecting America by writing angry letters about an ad campaign featuring a model who looks like she’s wearing something similar to a Bolivian pollera, a choice of costume that shows a criminal ignorance of, or possibly even sympathy for, the Bolivian menace…