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The Curse of Short Legs
Mar. 12th, 2008 | 08:45 am
Yesterday afternoon as I was walking down California Street to work, just about at the Pacific Union Club, I heard voices overtaking me. I glanced over my shoulder to see four tall guys in their twenties striding along the sidewalk behind me, deep in conversation and dressed for a day out in jeans and t-shirts. They were covering a lot of ground very quickly.
“(inaudible, inaudible,)…big deal….(inaudible) physical sciences test…(inaudible) all the answers… what happened was, this guy (inaudible)..completely freaked everyone out, we couldn’t (inaudible, inaudible) papers flying everywhere. And the instructor, he’s going ‘whoa!’ but of course he didn’t have to worry because security tackled him just as he came through the door, man, they nailed the guy!”
“No way!” “Damn!” “Oh man that is FUCKED!” For an instant I was in the middle of them, but I don’t think they even noticed as they parted slightly to go around me, continuing the conversation over my head.
“The gun just goes flying across the floor, and security grabs that so that’s taken care of and everyone’s looking at each other and going ‘Man, THAT was weird,’ and the guy’s being hustled off in cuffs and then…”
They were pulling ahead fast. I quickened my pace slightly, trying to be discreet.
“…this guy in a suit comes in and talks to the instructor and then he turns around (inaudible)…do the whole thing over. I shit you not. He says it’s just been too disruptive and we have to come back again late in.. (inaudible)
“So what….(inaudible)….?”
All four were far ahead of me now, and I was going at an undignified trot that reminded me of how my family’s Cairn Terrier used to move in a blur of stubby legs when she tried to keep up with our Setter mix. I could see it was no use. These guys each could cover more ground in one stride than I can in four. To keep up with them I’d have to gallop.
“….(inaudible) big guy front row…(inaudible, inaudible) and another two guys behind him (inaudible) and security’s GONE now…(inaudible) do about it…(inaudible, inaudible, inaudible…)”
I gave up and watched them dwindle into four tiny, gesturing figures heading towards Chinatown.
This is what comes of being taller when I sit down than when I’m standing.
“(inaudible, inaudible,)…big deal….(inaudible) physical sciences test…(inaudible) all the answers… what happened was, this guy (inaudible)..completely freaked everyone out, we couldn’t (inaudible, inaudible) papers flying everywhere. And the instructor, he’s going ‘whoa!’ but of course he didn’t have to worry because security tackled him just as he came through the door, man, they nailed the guy!”
“No way!” “Damn!” “Oh man that is FUCKED!” For an instant I was in the middle of them, but I don’t think they even noticed as they parted slightly to go around me, continuing the conversation over my head.
“The gun just goes flying across the floor, and security grabs that so that’s taken care of and everyone’s looking at each other and going ‘Man, THAT was weird,’ and the guy’s being hustled off in cuffs and then…”
They were pulling ahead fast. I quickened my pace slightly, trying to be discreet.
“…this guy in a suit comes in and talks to the instructor and then he turns around (inaudible)…do the whole thing over. I shit you not. He says it’s just been too disruptive and we have to come back again late in.. (inaudible)
“So what….(inaudible)….?”
All four were far ahead of me now, and I was going at an undignified trot that reminded me of how my family’s Cairn Terrier used to move in a blur of stubby legs when she tried to keep up with our Setter mix. I could see it was no use. These guys each could cover more ground in one stride than I can in four. To keep up with them I’d have to gallop.
“….(inaudible) big guy front row…(inaudible, inaudible) and another two guys behind him (inaudible) and security’s GONE now…(inaudible) do about it…(inaudible, inaudible, inaudible…)”
I gave up and watched them dwindle into four tiny, gesturing figures heading towards Chinatown.
This is what comes of being taller when I sit down than when I’m standing.